R3D2's log: Jamaican in New York

thank you!

2006-08-03T01:17:00.000-04:00

Thanks to LASPAU/OAS Scholarship for the Americas & MSRC for their financial support through the course of my research. Special thanks to my advisors Jackie and Rob for sheer hell, suggestions, comments, critique, and encouragement. To the Collier Lab with specific gratitude to Joanne who helped in numerous ways in teaching of methods and experimental design, and Kris who was ever-present and willing to share information, even other ppl's - lol.

(The Lab & Thesis Committee at my celebratory lunch - Jackie's treat after my presentation )

Thanks to my reader Chris for being so patient and willing at the last minute; David, Sergio, Steve and Larry for their time and willingness to assist in any way possible.

Many special thanks to GOD! Whoy did I cry out to Him nuff; my friends here, especially CJ, J, Alex, Lourdes, Alberto & Miss Goulby!, and in JA (you know yourselves ;) - could never have done this without you!, and my family whose loving support is like fuel to my soul.

MI DUN! MI OUT!

On to Chapter 2: Jamaican in Florida? Puerto Rico? US Virgin Islands? New Zealand? Jamaica?

home run

2006-08-02T21:14:00.000-04:00

Last signature down, thesis complete.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

'cause I'm leeeaaaviiiiinnnnggg on a jet plane
don't know when I'll be back again
oh babe, I love to go...

scoore!

2006-07-31T14:39:00.000-04:00

Two signatures down... one to go!

'i gat this!'

2006-07-31T14:27:00.000-04:00

Said in typical New York accent....

It's all well and good that I can 'gwaan' and boast now that it's 'OVA'!

Thanks to all who sent encouraging words! They mean alot.

The presentation went well, better than I expected. I wasn't the least bit nervous, I spoke slowly, and even those who were not biologist said they understood. I even 'crack one and two joke'. Couldn't help it.

The lab was then taken out and treated as a celebration of my completion! Whoo-hoo!!

I still have minor editing on the written thesis to do, but I already have one signature and the others have been guaranteed to be there before Thursday... so... no more delays... I'll be on that plane :o)

CJ, here I come!

seminar announcement

2006-07-24T21:17:00.000-04:00

In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements

for the degree of

MASTER OF SCIENCE

in Marine and Atmospheric Science

Effects of light and nitrogen substrate on phycoerythrin and

chlorophyll-a in the cyanobacterium Synechococcus WH7805.

By

Raisha Lovindeer

on

Monday, July 31, 2006

10:00 A.M.

Endeavour Hall, Room 120

closing time

2006-07-21T18:08:00.001-04:00

The windows were up, the AC was on. I was mostly in the car, but many times, I was not. Memories flew like trees through the window at seventy miles an hour. Time raced on and stood still all at once. We spoke and laughed, danced and sang all the way to JFK.

Ale', serás siempre en mi corazón...

in the news

2006-07-20T11:17:00.000-04:00

While searching for our department logo to place in my presentation, I stumbled across our 'In The News' page (a page dedicated to articles posted about/refering to our department in the community or university news), and lo and behold... there was my face.

How cool.

the waiting game

2006-07-18T22:52:00.000-04:00

Today I handed my thesis, in its entirety, from abstract to references, to my advisors. I am at a place where I am happy with my offspring, but she is not yet clear of the butcher's knife, and so the corks remain tightly snug in the mouths of the champagne bottles.

There is work to do while I wait. Bringing the child to life in pictures and words, that a diverse audience must understand, is next on the agenda.

stuck

2006-07-08T13:19:00.000-04:00

a never-ending cycle of dates
removed, rebooked, reset;
a dependence that I have grown to fear,
then loathe, then embrace and accept;
an experience that teaches patience
in the best way possible;
a reality that, though I like to live by a plan,
life is a rebel that doesn't like to be molded;
a humbling reminder that I
am not the author of it all.

feedback

2006-06-20T23:40:00.000-04:00

I finally received it.
Bleeding with ink in the areas that needed the most immediate attention. Time is short, as it always is, but the operation of words is still underway.

age takes the fall

2006-06-19T21:25:00.000-04:00

The first time it happened I was in Puerto Rico, visiting the remainder of the Valdés family. I speculated what had caused it, but I was not certain.

The second time occurred tonight, just a few minutes ago. Had the first encounter not happened, it would be almost impossible to select a culprit, given the surroundings had many.

The reality of the situation is very shocking to me, but it seems after many years of joyful childhood union, I have now grown allergic to cats.

sleepworking

2006-06-17T01:59:00.000-04:00

I've been ordered to rest and recuperate. I try but I always feel a sense of anxiety when I do. I should be working and I know it. With only a couple months left for something I should have finished a couple months ago, I have no time to be lying down doing nothing. When I'm cleared to fly, I want nothing holding me back.

It's a struggle for me. Work requires a great deal of my energy. I'm drained just thinking about it much less actually getting any significant amount of it done. Convincing myself that I am waiting for my advisors to give me feedback makes me more anxious, because that is a time frame over which I have no control.

Who would have 'thunk' that the day would come when I would be ordered to rest and all I can think about is work.

released

2006-06-14T16:23:00.000-04:00

Change is good.

symmetry

2006-06-12T14:52:00.000-04:00

Today, I shaved my head.

road to recovery

2006-06-12T12:45:00.000-04:00

The simple things in our daily routine that we take for granted become major milestones on the road to recovery.

'YAY, she's awake'
'YAY, she feels pain'
'YAY, she's burping!'
'YAY, she's not throwing up'

'Have you had a bowel movement?'
'No.'
'Hmmm... ok'
'But I've passed gas...'
'YAY, she's passed gas!'

A little more rest, a couple more stones to hurdle, and I’ll be at the destination fairly soon.

please explain

2006-06-06T11:58:00.000-04:00

When did girls start believing that having hips is a bad thing? Why on earth would full-hip girls wear their pants so low and tight that it rests midway down their hip, thus leaving bulges of skin hanging over the top of their pants making them look fat and highly unflattering?

Low riders are for girls that do not have meaty hips to flaunt but have flat tummies to use as their asset. If when you put one on, it looks like meat fighting its way out of clothes, those pants are NOT for you! And if you insist on wearing them, then lawx, at least wear your size nuh!

life's little twists

2006-06-04T20:15:00.000-04:00

I left church early, and Aunty E and I walked to the Bedford Park station in the Bronx and said our goodbyes. When the train didn't come after nearly 10 minutes of waiting, I had little hope of catching the 1:38pm train back to Long Island. The next train would be at 3:07 and I was not looking forward to the wait. There's still time, I told myself.

Then, upon the D train's arrival they inform us that due to construction we would have to change trains at 145th Street.

As I got on the A train at 145th, I stopped watching the clock, completely believing I would miss my Long Island Railroad connecting train. However, the express A flew at ridiculous speeds and when the doors opened at Penn Station it was 1:35, 3 minutes before my train would leave.

Like a typical New Yorker, I had already traded in my church heals for sneakers while on the train, and made a run for it. I dashed passed the board at Penn Station and noted the track number of my train. Track 16, it was still there.

Racing around the crowd, bumping into people and calling out for forgiveness, I fly down the set of stairs to track 16 and see that the doors are still open. I made it. I'm gasping for air as I find a seat.

The voice on the speakers announces that it is exactly 1:38 and call for the all aboard on the Port Jefferson 1:38 train.

'All aboard on track 17, all aboard!'

WHAT! Track WHAT! I quickly ask someone where this train is headed and they reply, 'Port Washington'.

In horror, I race off the train, back up the stairs, through the entrance to track 17 and fly down the stairs just in time to see the train pulling out. sigh.

honorary dinner

2006-06-03T23:59:00.000-04:00

My cousin, Keith Binns was honoured by The KTHS Alumni Association, New York Chapter Inc. as they celebrated the one hundred and ten years of progressive technical education of Kingston Technical High School.

The honorary dinner was held at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in Queens. I had the joy of meeting some of my father's high school pals (though dad is a Kingston College old boy, and won't let you forget it) and hearing passionate stories about the KTHS Walker Cup team.

One of the many highlights of the evening was the playing of Miss Lou (Louise Bennett) during dinner, which had many choking and dying of laughter [wi no yuuz Heimlich manoeuvre, jus claat im pan im bak].

It was a very enjoyable evening out.

Congrats Uncle Keith!

hope reinstated

2006-06-03T23:56:00.000-04:00

The speeches began shortly after dinner and I turned in my chair to face the podium. It was then I noticed him. Seated at the adjacent table, he was handsomely dressed in a patriotic black suit with green inner shirt and yellow tie. It was a combination I never thought could look so good.

During the course of the evening I couldn't help notice our shared sense of humour: smiling, nodding, and laughing hysterically at exactly the same places. He carried himself like a gentleman, and his mannerisms reminded me forcibly of my brother. He even had a similar wide grin smile, showing all 32 beautiful teeth. I tried to decipher if he had an escort. The women seated next to him seemed a little too old, though he treated the one to his left very warmly. I assumed she was his mother, though her age was hard to guess.

His eyes never once roamed the room, so making eye contact was almost impossible. In addition, for such a debonair guy, he didn't seem to be interested in any of the ladies passing his way, though he gave much attention to his mom. It wasn't until he turned in his chair and reached for a glass that I saw the shimmer on his left hand. He was married.

Darn.

But where was his wife? It's too early in his life to be going to formal functions without her. It was then I noticed that the lady to his left was not as old as I thought, and as I saw her wedding ring, my heart filled with warmth and my admiration for him increased.

You see, her age was difficult to decipher because she had what appears to be burn marks all over her face and (I later noticed) the back of her hands. Her hair had been recently completely shaved off, and though was re-growing, showed bald spots in the centre. Had I not looked closely to realize her face was indeed wrinkle-free, I would never have known she was young.

I smiled to myself and stopped watching them for the most part after that, though it was a joy seeing him so focussed on her while on the dance floor later in the evening.

Recently I've been bombarded with boys my age playing the fool, those acting like thugs wearing their pants on their thighs, men who have wives/girlfriends but flirt and call to other women as if they are still single, numerous cases of cheating, disloyalty, and disrespect... and it was a breath of fresh air to see a true gentleman with an admirable sense of character, who undoubtedly loves his wife very much.

Best of luck to you both.

bitta & bex

2006-05-31T12:26:00.000-04:00

Now is dis alms'ouse mi cyaa deal wid yuh nuh!

Winter finally done, outside warm and sunny, and the office is freezing cold! Dat mek any SENSE!? Who cares if it's 80 something outside... why is it 2 degrees in HERE!?!

roth pond regatta

2006-05-29T18:31:00.000-04:00

The sport of champion idlers, the Roth Pond Regatta is an annual SBU event, in which various groups race against each other on Roth Pond located on main compus. The beauty of this regatta is that all boats must be made from 2 main components: cardboard and duct tape. Paint is optional.

The photos were recently posted on our department website.

city sites

2006-05-24T17:59:00.000-04:00

The beginning of this week was filled with touring and travelling in an attempt to give my 3 honoured guests a taste of New York City. They sampled the Long Island Railroad, the subway, endless walking from China Town to the World Trade Centre site, to the bull near Wall Street, and down to see the Statue of Liberty from Battery Park.

They experienced the extremes of New York: from the awe of Times Square to the calm of Central Park; from rain to sun, hot to bitter cold; from the sounds of taxi cab horns in the streets and loud New Yorkers on trains to the melodious music of the Phantom of the Opera and Chicago on Broadway.

All this and they have merely tantalized a taste bud or two. With a limited tour time of 4 days they left much unseen... a great excuse to return someday :o)

class of 2006

2006-05-19T23:56:00.000-04:00

My sis and brother-in-law arrived at La Guardia airport on Wednesday night, and my best friend CJ at JFK on Thursday afternoon. It was interesting finding space for 3 extra in the 2-bedroom shared-apartment that already occupied 4 people... but we did.

After some serious driving up and down, missed calls and connections with other arriving family members, and a late night dinner at The Hampton Inn with my uncle, we finally settled into our respective beds, bags, and couches, and drifted off as the night gave way to graduation day.

The main convocation ceremony was held in the university's Kenneth P. Lavalle Stadium and was not without showers of blessing. The May and August graduates lined up in their blue caps and gowns, various bold colours of hanging tassels and hoods depending on their degrees achieved, and an array of coloured umbrellas hiding it all. As we marched into the stadium to the graduation theme, ponchos of all colours greeted us with shouts, whistles, waves, and smiles. I miraculously managed to make eye contact with my group of smiling wavers: Rush, Les, CJ, Ale' and Uncle D now joined by Aunty E for a total of 6 (the limit was 4... but I'm a JAcan... cut me some slack!)

This has been (and still is) no easy road. There have been many times I've questioned whether I want to be associated with a place in which I have found many flaws, with a system I do not completely believe in, with people who stir the darker side in me... but... honestly... standing there, robed in blue, observing the sprinkling of students wearing a Master's tassel, I could not suppress the pride swelling in my chest. The sea of umbrellas was replaced with a sea of blue caps when the sun finally burst through the clouds during the Valedictorians speech and, as our degrees were conferred upon us and our tassels moved from right to left, the newly qualified class of 2006 beamed with pride and roared with excitement. I found myself in the midst of it all, doing the same.

Soon after the main ceremony, the class separated into their respective departments, where the more personal ceremonies were held. The tradition of me belonging to a 'guinea pig' year continued, as other traditions were broken. Though each team of student and advisor(s) was singled out, the traditional intimate introduction of each graduate student by their advisor was removed from this year's ceremony, a disappointment to many.

This was quickly shaken off as the gang (after releasing a few people, and gaining others) headed off to fulfil another tradition at Thai Gourmet. The evening was capped with a celebratory game of kalooki.

Though I celebrated being a member of the class of 2006, I am officially an August graduate and still have work to do, so I'm holding my thank you speech till then.

Oh, and J, you're forgiven.

curve this

2006-05-12T14:53:00.000-04:00

A student came into the office today. He complained that he was getting a C+ for a course in which he had a high 80 average. He found it completely unbelievable that the reason he was getting a C+ was that only a certain percentage of the class is awarded A, another percentage B, and the rest C. C is average. That's what marking on a curve is all about.

In my opinion, it's a very dumb system. I'm very grateful I went to UWI, where the grades are set, and if the entire class works for it, they can all walk away with the grades they deserve, even if that means every single person has an A or they all downright fail.

I see no justification in the curve system. It simply means that if one class has exceptionally hard working students, those getting 80's will walk away with a C, whereas if the class before them was not a hard working class, those getting 80 may very well have gotten an A on the very same exam. What then does that say about your GPA? Absolutely nothing, because it's all relative to classmates. So taking the grade point system, and comparing students from different classes, and even different schools is foolish. Apparently the people using this system are too blind to see this, but who knows, maybe when they got their A, it was a 50.

through the night

2006-05-12T14:39:00.000-04:00

I haven’t slept through the night
I toss and turn and sit upright
I leave the bed and walk to the door
I step to the cold, unwelcoming bathroom floor
I blow my insides out and discard them.

I haven't slept through the night
I heave and ho and breathe with a fight
I sweat and kick and open the window
I then shiver and cover from head to toe
I turn my nostrils up to relieve them.

I haven't slept through the night
I hear the darkness turn to light
I bury my head to catch some sleep
I sneeze and blow till my eyes weep
I long for when I can finally close them.

looks are deceiving

2006-05-09T00:28:00.000-04:00

I'm still wearing layers; sleeping under blankets; doing work late at night in sweaters and fluffy warm slippers in an already heated building.

Looks like spring, feels like winter.

little differences

2006-05-05T09:42:00.000-04:00

I was recognized this morning, by a man I had never before seen, because of my accent. I was relaying a funny story to Alex as we got to the department and he turned around and said 'Jamaican right?'

He went on to say he could pick it out of any crowd, the accent itself, the relaxed way in which we speak and the joy he heard in my voice... he said he missed it, though he was not Jamaican himself.

I was smiling of course, smiling because I couldn't help but think that had it been just a few days ago, he would not have heard enough pleasantness in my voice to stop and say it.

let the tears flow

2006-05-04T21:31:00.000-04:00

Tonight I cried.

Not because I was sick of life and overwhelmed by my situation, but because I've been so focussed on me that I'd forgotten to see the things I should be grateful for. I cried for forgiveness of my selfishness. I cried from the realization that I have a Saviour who knows exactly what I'm going through and how I've been handling it, and will break me and bring me low to the floor if that is the only way I can see His face... and He does it out of love.

I didn't want to go to church tonight. I wanted to sleep off my trials between the sheets, and find happiness in the world I create behind the doors of my eyelids. But I went. The message could not have hit more hard. God really doesn't leave his children to do it alone, and the fact that the message was exactly what I needed to turn my situation around is no coincidence.

Habakkuk 3:17 -18
'Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.'

Look, if this guy can do it with all this stuff happening around him, so can I. Rejoicing is a choice Rae... and don't you forget it again.

Thanks Bro. Barnes (adopted dad :) for letting God use you. Without willing and faithful men, most of us would not be as blessed. Thanks guys, for encouragement even when I feel as if I don't want to hear it.

bouncing ball

2006-05-03T15:07:00.000-04:00

The three years of my life (2 before I left to come to Stony Brook and the 1st one here) was one huge emotional roller coaster that I was all too happy to get off when it finally came to a painfully slow and grinding halt. Never would I imagine that I would step into another one so soon after leaving the first, but I have.

My last year at Stony Brook has seen some gravity defying turns that leave my heart either in my mouth or sinking completely to the floor. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the constant rising and falling of hopes and butterflies in my stomach; of people telling me to hang on because the ride is almost over when they themselves know nothing of the ride itself or the end thereof; of losing my mind, my sleep, and my temper all at once, becoming someone I neither recognize nor like.

It's easier to handle when I think it's worth the effort... but what if I just don't.

common chord

2006-04-20T17:52:00.000-04:00

Jogging on the treadmill in the wellness gym, muscles, sweat, weights and machinery everywhere...
Short fair girl stepping past me, ipod on her hip, speakers drumming away her eardrum...
Sitting in Jasmine, the oriental restaurant in the Wang Center, eating and chatting with Alex...
Laying in my bed in building B, staring at the screen, a Verizon Wireless advertisement blazing from the set...

What do all these situations have in common besides me? the obvious dancehall ripping through the air. Jamaica may be small in comparison, but its influence is definitely quite large.

encouraging reminder

2006-04-14T13:26:00.000-04:00

'If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research...'

– Albert Einstein

red eye

2006-04-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

I spent the night with strangers.

Boricua

2006-04-04T10:21:00.000-04:00

see more visuals on Frame by Frame

( indicates basic travel route)

Flew into Rafael Hernandez Aeropuerto en Aguadilla with Lourdes. Spent three days with her y su familia los Mena en Quebradilla, spoke espanol porque su familia no habla ingles. Bonded mainly with those members below the age of five [que lindo!], went whale watching, and plantain crazy at Platano Loco, dipped by the beach, relaxed, did a bit of work, got jinxed by badmind J whose wish for rain everyday came true.

Drove to Ponce en el sur de la isla, walked the boardwalk, did the exchange from host Lourdes y familia to Alex y familia.

Drove to Rio Piedras en San Juan to spend the remaining tre' dia' con la familia los Valdes. Went hiking and singing to the top of El Yunque soaked to the bone [Tengo una hormiguita en la patita que me esta haciendo cosquillita. Me pica, me pica, me pica, pica, pica!]. Went driving, walking, dancing, eating, talking, laughing and touring in Old San Juan [que chevere!], did a bit of work, relaxed. Flew out of Aeropuerto Internacional Luis Munoz Marin en San Juan.

In all, a wonderful six days with memories inadequately described by words or pictures, but too vividly imprinted to forget. Will definitely go back someday.

Levantate, ponte hypel!

umpa lumpa

2006-03-27T13:57:00.000-05:00

That's right ladies and gentlemen, a real live umpa lumpa just passed by my window. Clad in purple from top to boot, short stature and blond hair, round in the middle, hobbling to her car in the driveway.

She is lucky. I didn't have my camera, and my office glass is sound proof.

countdown begins

2006-03-27T13:37:00.000-05:00

I can't help but smile at myself in the lab these days. I'm reveling in the beauty of doing certain things for the last time

Last cell count (fire fi dem!!!!) - Friday gone :o)
Last acetone extraction - Friday
Last urease assay (no more phenol huffing!) - Today
Last french pressure cell press - Today

and the countdown continues...

the balance

2006-03-23T18:46:00.000-05:00

Someone's life must be real simple right now, because mine just got a whole lot more complicated.

divide & conquer

2006-03-10T14:46:00.000-05:00

Working on my thesis is a real challenge. The mass of information that needs to be included is sometimes daunting, and there are times I feel I’ll never get it all done. I’ve taken to splitting the chapters into mini-sections, looking at only one part at a time. I’m amazed at how less terrifying it all looks this way.

I’ve also taken Seeker’s attack and conquer attitude to his work and applied it to mine: finish or be finished. If at the end of the day I have not completed the section I was working on, then it has gotten the best of me, and I can’t let that happen. I’m actually finding this attitude fun... can you believe it? I’m finding writing my thesis... fun!

Thanks Seeker :o)

mash up

2006-03-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

If left to my own devices, it is very likely that my routine will consist of home, lab/work, and home again. However, thankfully this is not the case. With the presence of seriously active individuals around me, the past week has seen a surge of back-to-back activities: pilates (pronounced pi-lah-tees people), badminton, volleyball, cardio salsa, and yes... though I have gotten many a facetiae comment about losing 'bone' and withering away to nothing... the gym.

My body aches in places that never ached before, and though this is the type of pain I prefer, all I long for right now is my bed.

...and maybe some pilates to stretch my weary muscles.

low blows

2006-03-03T20:26:00.000-05:00

When you see the likes of me preferring snow, you know things are bad!

The past week has seen some 'bitta cowl a lick mi'. When there's no precipitation and the wind is dry, it slaps me harder than a hand to a naughty cheek. I never knew cold could burn so much. If I could walk with my eyes covered I would, and for a few steps at a time I actually do. It's just that bad.

The few days of snow were a blessing. The wind died down enough for me to walk upright without my eyes burning and watering for mercy. But the relief was short-lived and once again the dry and bitter wind has returned, howling with anger, slapping faces red, from cheek to nose.

the bird is dead

2006-03-02T16:30:00.000-05:00

The beeping that emanated from my adapter started to sound more like a dying bird chirping than anything else. I finally realized that it had an electrical short and sent it back for a replacement. I had quickly emailed all pertinent files to myself before the battery died. The replacement arrived today.

As I do not remember my blogger password (suffering from Le-sickness) all updates were put on hold…all of course, being a total of one.

a little magic for sylvia

2006-03-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

The night was filled with awe and wonder as Arthur Trace, Todd Robbins, and Francis Menotti wowed the crowd with their mastery of sleight of hand, humour, and raw artistic performance. These three professional magicians are excellent at their craft and though I have ideas about some of their methods, others have completely boggled me. It's one thing to stand onstage and do a trick, but it's another to get random audience members involved. Right before our eyes, using volunteers we knew were not planted in the crowd, they confused and amazed the audience over and over again.

The audience at the Staller Center was lucky to have these talented and seasoned magicians in their midst for only a fraction of a fraction of the cost it would be to see these performances otherwise. But it was no luck that brought them here.

The show was a benefit for Sylvia Tracz, a department of Chemistry PhD student who had just successfully defended her dissertation and was on her way to celebrate when an SUV ran a red light and collided with the driver's side of her car. This occurred on July 24 of last year and Sylvia barely survived.

Situations like these always make me think how lucky we are to be in the state we are now, and just how much we should never take our days for granted. We plan our lives and put things off as if we are confident we'll have the time to get around to it someday. Our lives could change forever or end completely in a fraction of a second. It's a morbid way of thinking, but it's a reality we can't escape.

Sylvia (now Dr. Sylvia Tracz) was accepted for a postdoc research position at the University of California and would be there now if not for her accident. Her research was focused on conformational changes in protein hormones and their role in type-II diabetes.

She is currently undergoing extensive rehabilitation in Barrington, Illinois. Her medical expenses are in the millions of $US. Donations for her can be made to:
Graduate Chemistry Society, Sylvia Tracz Fund,
Department of Chemistry, Stony Brook University,
Stony Brook, NY 11794-3400

The magician Arthur Trace is Sylvia's brother.

bus stop

2006-02-22T13:28:00.000-05:00

The bus system on campus is a useful one and while most buses are well equipped, not all are. Every once in a while I'll hop a bus that has no method of communication with the students and the driver.

As a Jamaican, this poses no problems for me. When approaching my stop, I do what every other Jamaican does. I shout.

'Bus stop please!'

The bus continues, speed unchanged, bus stop fast approaching. Should I have said ‘bus stop at the bus stop please!’? – way too many words.

‘Bus stop! BUS STOP!! This one right HERE!!', as we whoosh past and the driver finally realizes and slams on the break.

Hmm, maybe I should shout 'BEEEEEEEP!'
Would that be any more clear?

tad too tired

2006-02-20T23:11:00.001-05:00

On autopilot, I walked in, reached for my brush, put the toothpaste on and started my routine clean before bed. I'm blankly staring at myself in the mirror as I do it... staring past myself. As I get to the back of my mouth, I realize that something feels different. I focus on my mouth in the mirror and realize in horror that I had been using the wrong toothbrush! Yuk!

cranium turbo crew

2006-02-18T23:58:00.000-05:00

When the week is long and the nights are freezing, everyone needs a bit of cheering up. Games night at the Ridgeway house is always the remedy. And of course the night is never complete without the traditional group shot.

The reds beat the blacks 2 games to none.

antipodean

2006-02-16T11:17:00.000-05:00

I know, ok, I know!

I know I can't know real joy without sorrow, can't know love without hate, good without bad, heat without cold, can't feel comfort without agony, freedom without bondage. I know. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

wretched beeping thing

2006-02-15T11:32:00.000-05:00

The adapter for my laptop had stopped working almost two years after I purchased it. I found that, like a TV, the art of banging could squeeze a little more life out of it. However, after having banged it to death, I conceded and went shopping for a new one. I can only assume that my problem was a widespread one as Dell’s website was completely sold out of adapters. I thus acquired a no-brand substitute, which arrived with impressive speed.

Back in business.

A few days ago while working/chatting online at home, Alex and I were brought to a halt by a distinct beeping that sounded like delayed ticking of a time bomb. After a quick search, the culprit was located: my adapter. Confused, I immediately unplugged it. After about an hour, I reconnected it and the beeping was gone. Strange!

It happened again the next day, and this time I noticed that while it is beeping, no power is being supplied to my computer. I left it plugged in this time, and after about 6 minutes, the beeping stopped and power was restored. Possibly a safety feature during power fluctuations or over-heating… I have no clue.

Today, I arrived at work, plugged in the adapter and the beep beep began. Over-heating thus ruled out. Every other electronic device in the outlet works fine, and no one else in the office has a problem with power.

Beeping continued for more than 10 minutes and was highly annoying, so I disconnected it and waited for about 2 hours, periodically checking in between. My laptop finally died after running on its battery since last night. I plugged the darned thing in once more and stuffed it in a drawer to neutralize the beeping. I also connected it to my computer fully aware that no power was flowing. After about 2 minutes of doing absolutely nothing with regard to the computer, the beeping abruptly stopped and the little power light sputtered on.

Righty then. I have a moody adapter. Must have been made in October. Back to businesss...

And then the irony: its been on now for only 15 minutes, and is almost too hot to touch. I’ll end up unplugging it again anyway.

shock wave

2006-02-10T13:58:00.000-05:00

The door handle, the desktop, the desk drawer, the microwave door, the door handle, the incubator, the computer, the car door, the door handle, the sweater, the lab cabinet, a hand, the door handle!!

I’m a little tired of getting shocked here. I’m surprised I haven't been electrocuted!

confined

2006-02-07T14:50:00.000-05:00

Stuck in my white-walled... hmm, these walls are yellow... never noticed that before... alrighty then... yellow-walled cage, the everlasting humming penetrating my ears. My hands and feet constantly on the move, my window to the outside world chained to a reader, collecting data. Light like the tropical sun blazes overhead from a projector bulb, activating the cells basking below, mocking me as they swim in their miniature sea.

Bask away my little ones, for at the end of the day, though I be set free, ye shall bask no more.

opus cactus

2006-02-03T23:08:00.000-05:00

Fantastic!

You have never seen human bodies move with the weight of feathers right before your eyes until you have seen the artistic genius of Moses Pendleton and his performance company, Momix, in action. Their performance tonight of Opus Cactus was superb, leaving me, and the rest of the audience, in awe at what bodies, props, great costumes, and an innovative mind can produce.

The show was made simply magnificent with the most excellent lighting you have seen onstage. The lighting supervisor, Woodrow F. (Woody) Dick III, whose blurb offered no information on his background, but instead poked fun at his name, needed no words on a page for the audience to appreciate his experience and talent.

This unforgettable experience was shared with Alex, Aleya, and Aleya’s friends, Jose, and a Japanese guy whose name escapes me. We were all equally speechless at the beauty before us. You just have to see it to believe.

tunnel illumination

2006-02-03T12:20:00.000-05:00

The apartment is home now. There's a freedom in the room that only living with a close friend or a sister can bring. My sleeping habits are back to normal, basically meaning I couldn't budge out of the bed this morning, but I did. In the pouring rain, I even got to work ten minutes early.

My thesis is pouring out of me better than ever this week. The equations don't seem so forbidding and I'm actually solving a bit of them. The experiments left to be completed are underway and things seem on track. Why can't every week be like this one?

asian correction

2006-01-30T10:11:00.000-05:00

Our detective work on the origin of our housemates was only 50% accurate. One girl, Miao (yes, pronounced like a cat's meow) is indeed from China, but her roommate, Juhee, is from Korea. Four countries and languages represented. I like it.

Happy Year of the Dog!

the icing

2006-01-29T23:59:00.000-05:00

Spent most of the weekend hammering, fixing, tidying, decorating. The place actually has that welcome home feel when you walk through the door. It's amazing what wood and plants can do.

Late to bed, early to rise. I need to curb this habit.

box by box

2006-01-27T11:07:00.000-05:00

My keys to G2102A were handed in this morning and my former building coordinator said he was losing one of his best residents *sniff sniff*. He's such a charmer. The last of my stuff was moved into the new apartment last night thanks to Lourdes and Alberto's truck. I'm actually grateful for this move before having to move again to go home in May. I realized just how much crap I had accumulated. Though the living room resembled an obstacle course, we (joined by Juliet and my former roommate Aleya) warmed the place with pizza, tea, chatting, and the usual dose of laughter.

The unpacking went into the wee hours of the morning. Thank God it's Friday. We'll have the weekend to finish up and hopefully our lives will fully return to normal by Monday.

two's company

2006-01-26T12:05:00.000-05:00

Alex and I went to bed late after doing five full loads of laundry each, and cleaning out the rest of the apartment with focus on the kitchen and our room. We slept well last night and awoke bug-free.

As I suspected, life is more ordered with both of us present. We got out of bed on time, and actually made a good breakfast and had enough time to sit and eat without arriving late to lab.

The sun is out.

don't let the bed bugs bite

2006-01-25T14:29:00.000-05:00

Alex and I moved in and surmised that our housemates were Chinese from the huge bags of rice labeled in Chinese characters (big detective work here). We immediately began cleaning the most important room in the house, the bathroom. Many exchanged looks were shared, the question blatantly stamped on our faces: 'how could anyone live in such filth?' Our only salvation was that we were enduring this together. The girls arrived home mid-process. They seem nice enough.

We unpacked about half of our belongings, made the bed and were about to crash when one of the girls timidly knocked on the door…‘Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that the reason the other girls moved out was that the room has bed bugs.’

‘SAY WHAT!??’ cried Alex and I in unison.

‘We have them too.’ She continued. ‘I’ve never seen them but they leave red bumps on my skin’

‘Girl-chile, you must be crazy!!’ was what I thought, and the words nearly tumbled out before I caught myself.

Without much of a choice, Alex and I slept on our beds that night, and the words sleep tight had a whole new meaning. As forewarned, I awoke to one crawling on my face! We saw them alright, and killed about ten. They are tiny bugs that are only visible because of the blood they are carrying… OUR BLOOD!!

The office was called immediately and within 15 minutes we were given the protocol for eradication, which would begin in one hour with the arrival of the exterminator. The protocol included stripping the entire room that was JUST packed, and bagging and laundering ALL the clothing that was in the room, including those sitting passively in the drawers.

While talking to the office, they made us know that they were aware of the problem, and would be on it right away. Excuse me? You were what?? You made us move into a room that you KNEW was infested with bed bugs and had previously been completely vacant, giving you ample time to solve the problem? Now we were downright livid!

With that information, the room could be sprayed, but we did not want our beds sprayed with pesticide, we demanded new mattresses. And in addition, we demanded the office reimburse the money we would now have to spend to launder ALL our clothes.

They did in fact replace the mattresses, but the battle is still on for the reimbursement. And on and on it goes… our never-ending Chapin woes…

moved

2006-01-24T21:55:00.000-05:00

I still reside in the Chapin Apartment Complex, but no longer in my beloved G-building. I have returned to the evil that is B and am located directly above the room I had vacated during my first September at Stony Brook.

Though I will miss my former apartment and my very charming building coordinator, absolutely nothing compares to sharing the entire experience with my new roommate... ALEX!

anticipation

2006-01-24T16:06:00.000-05:00

Lourdes and I will collect Alex from the Islip airport in less than two hours.

I had previously thought I would complete my degree and go back to Jamaica before she returned to Stony Brook. She has been doing research in Louisianna for a summer and semester. Her return signals many things of which I am excited, but of which you'll have to wait to hear... read... whatever it is you do.

stay tuned!

rain

2006-01-18T10:42:00.000-05:00

The clouds cry
with feelings of times past,
purging for those ahead.

I leave it behind, but miss it now.
These are times I always miss it most.
The warmth, the comfort, the love,
the endless cuddling
of my own bed.

misplacement

2006-01-13T15:02:00.000-05:00

Walking to the lab this morning in the dense fog, my thoughts were far away from my steps. A man called out to me from his car for directions to the main entrance. I gave them to him. He thanked me and drove away.

As is my nature, my last words played in my head about five times before leaving my mind. During this time I realized I had told him to go left when I should have said right, sending the man clear off campus, heading in the opposite direction, looking for a turn he’ll never find.

re-placement instruction

2006-01-10T22:35:00.000-05:00

The ability to easily converse with other Jamaicans studying in the US is good for many reasons, including abdominal workouts, and the addition of new words to the Jamaican vernacular.

Tonight's word: rerm

e.g. ‘Ef di powk nuh cuk gud, it wi gi yu rerm’

The simple exchange of letters 'wo' with 're' (used in the above case) can also be extended to other such rerds.

my irony

2006-01-06T15:12:00.000-05:00

The City is known for easy access and fast pace lifestyles. I often admit with too much pride that this fast track life is not for me. It breeds people too swift to go deeper than the surface, too impatient to catch those fleeting meaningful seconds.

A filmmaker who wishes his audience to capture the beauty of a moment will often slow it down. Such is my ideal. Yet, I find the fast forward feature constantly penetrating my personality.

Quick and efficient is key, but the side effect is lower tolerance resulting in general impatience.

I walk if the bus is late, end the call if put on hold, close a loading browser after too long, stop writing if replies are tardy, stop listening if the point is made, and most notably, get very annoyed doing them all.

...and then I’ll sit and stare through a window for hours doing absolutely nothing.

What a life.

sequel

2006-01-05T22:08:00.001-05:00

a bug's life is never over...

...for it is from the ashes

the Phoenix doth rise.

new york, new york

2006-01-05T18:03:00.000-05:00

I went into bed but couldn’t sleep. I was frustratingly aware of everything around me. Closing my eyes was absolutely no help. Hmm, I wonder if this counting sheep thing works?

I was finally in a happy place of laughter and friends when the lights came on and I opened my eyes. With a heavy sigh, I realized. It was time to go.

I got to the base of the escalator leading to the security check point at Fort Lauderdale airport when I heard a gentle snap and felt the weight on my shoulder suddenly go free. The strap of the padded knapsack housing my laptop snapped. The back of my leg broke the fall, leaving a terrible pain, and a bloody sock. I grabbed the other strap and continued on.

The flight over was carefree, as all my JetBlue flights are. On the ramp leading from the terminal gates to the baggage claim, I once again had the familiar feeling of freedom on my shoulder. The other knapsack-strap broke! Try saying ‘knapsack-strap’ repeatedly about 5 times and you’ll get a feel for my frustration up to that point. I stopped, tied the straps unto themselves, carefully leaving out any of the flimsy plastic portion that the makers of the bag clearly added just to make my life miserable, and continued with two perfectly working straps.

I was seriously contemplating taking a taxi from the airport to Stony Brook, but with the fare being their usual rip-off rate, I decided to go with my normal route. The wait for the train was short and getting on campus was not at all a problem. However, once there (where I live mind you, so I’m basically ‘home’) the usual problem persisted. Where oh where is that darn bus!?!

It finally arrived, and to my luck, they have changed the routes. I am driven in the opposite direction and expected to make a transfer to get to South Campus – a literal five-minute drive from the stupid station! In typical SBU style, the transfer bus is another no show. I’m impatient, pissed off at the stupidity of the ‘improved’ system, and I’M IMPATIENT!! Frustrated, I begin my walk to South Campus, dragging my suitcases behind me. *sigh* I hate Stony Brook (I know CJ, wrong emotion).

Thank God it wasn’t snowing.

At least the walk over made me appreciate the little half a room I call my own. I was so relieved to finally get there.

home fi di holiday dem

2006-01-03T12:15:00.000-05:00

Home #1: Jamaica
family, friends, church, pan, patties, Island Grill, laughter, a friend in the flesh, games, chatting, lyme, Christmas dinner, gifts, phone calls, Kellits trip, high school reunion, flu.

Home #2: Florida
best friend, church, 2006!!, Trini-Indian music, beach, family, dinner in Homestead, work, last days of sunshine.

eve of excitement

2005-12-09T21:47:00.000-05:00

early rise to the waiting torture.

an experiment in progress, finally working well, too slow, too late to be of use.

a new procedure, utilizing easily manipulated but dangerous equipment, the preparation for which takes longer than the data collection.

an enzyme assay, yielding a standard curve, resembling nothing of a curve, the samples on time intervals, the reagents kept in different labs, resulting in everlasting running between the two.

piles of glassware, all sizes, easy to use, hard to clean.

a class missed, the last one, the last time.

a long walk home, in the cold, darkness of a complete day, at 6.

a load of clothes on my back, to a laundry room emptied for refurbishing.

a task of fitting too much into too little, too heavy, too frustrating.

a bed calling, bellowing my name.

an excitement of tomorrow, buried today in exhaustion.

oh no! it's...

2005-12-04T16:27:00.000-05:00

It’s cold and slushy,
decreases visibility,
puts colours in the minority,
encourages ‘driving miss daisy.’
Increases the shivers,
freezes the livers,
continues the quivers,
and no one delivers!!

...but oh boy is it breathtaking to wake up and see
the entire place covered with snow.

first overnight

2005-12-04T16:07:00.000-05:00

I dropped Lourdes and Alberto at JFK on Friday morning, and kept Lourdes's car for the weekend.

Aunty E arrived in Stony Brook at 6:30pm on Saturday. I collected her from the train station and treated her to Thai at Phayathai Restaurant. She had her first Tom Kha Gai (coconut soup) and fried ice cream, appetizers and dessert respectively. We chatted till late and went to bed even later.

On Sunday morning I left early to church for the last preparations for the Christmas Cantata - Aunty E's reason for being here. She and Aleya were picked up later by my usual ride.

After the Cantata, which, I am told went well, we stopped at Green Cactus to get her favourite chips... oh yea, and some food too. She caught the 1:19 back to Manhattan where she'll connect to go to another engagement at 5. Busy lady. Real glad she could come.

shrimp tales

2005-11-26T21:41:00.000-05:00

I must admit that I was never a great seafood lover. Apart from the fry fish I get at Hellshire and in my own house in Jamaica, there is no seafood that I crave. If offered though, I would eat anything without problem. However, I have recently discovered I can no longer stomach shrimp.

Carla T had been crowned first runner up in the Miss Jamaica Florida Pageant 2000, and since I was in Florida at the time, we went to the congratulatory dinner together. There I ordered a plate with buttered shrimp and found I could not get past the first five minutes of eating. The nausea hit me with a force, and I was compelled to reverse the motion and empty all in the bathroom stall. Though I was convinced it was that particular dish, I purposely stayed away from shrimp to be safe.

Tonight, Lourdes, her husband Alberto, his brother Danny, and I went to Red Lobster for dinner. I ordered Tilapia. Lourdes ordered the Salmon, which came with shrimp that she did not want. She shared it among the rest of us. It tasted exceptional. However, a few minutes after eating her unwanted shrimp, I found I could no longer finish my own meal. I had to sit still, close my eyes, and concentrate on keeping my meal down. Thankfully it worked, but I had to forfeit the rest of my dinner.

It is precisely incidents such as these that lead me to mostly stick to the evil I know when eating out...

'I'll have the chicken please'.

black friday

2005-11-25T00:45:00.000-05:00

I had slept at Aunty E in the Bronx and woke up early to head to Manhattan, along with many other shoppers. On 'Black Friday' most stores open at 5am, with ridiculously low prices. I already had two bags full of stuff without even hitting one store. Aunty E never lets me leave her empty-handed.

The temperature was in the teens, but it felt like single digits with the wind fighting to blow me over. I had one store to visit before heading to Penn Station - B&H Photo-Video.

If you're ever in Manhattan (corner of 33rd and 9th), you need to go into this store just for the experience. It's like no other. Run by Orthodox Jews, it is compartmentalized and each section has its counter. There, you hand in your merchandise, receive a receipt, and continue shopping empty-handed. Jason recommended it to me, and there I had purchased all necessities for my photo course in the summer. Thus, after giving the first clerk my telephone number only, he addressed me by name (and pronounced correctly too). Once shopping is complete, hand in your receipt to the cashier, pay for your items, then pick your stuff up on your way out. They work fast and well, trust me. It's a pleasure doing business with them.

I got what I needed and headed straight for the station because there was no way I was going to freeze to death, regardless of how low all prices go.

Back in Stony Brook, I headed to the lab then connected with my Puerto Rican amigos. We shopped, ate, watched HP4, and chilled (literally) for the rest of the evening.

thanks at the Hemmings

2005-11-24T05:28:00.000-05:00

This was the third annual thanksgiving dinner with the Hemmings family & friends in White Plains. As usual, great food, great company. The after dinner chatting and jokes around the table reminded me forcibly of Sunday dinners at home in JA, which I miss a great deal.

However, nothing compares to cuddling by a real fireplace with a good mug of hot chocolate & marshmallows... and niggeritis!?

I only see these guys once a year, so there was much catching up to do, and it is always great fun.

(the 70-80's generation)

Giving thanks for a wonderful day of fellowship… and stuffing.

ghost town

2005-11-23T15:49:00.000-05:00

The halls were filled with chatter, laughter, people walking about to their labs and offices. I was busy inside, completely consumed with designing an experiment from the things lying around in the lab, actually enjoying it - like a puzzle. I emerged to find office doors locked, halls empty, nothing but the sound of my squeaking sneaker on the shiny floor.

On the way home, all cars seemed to be heading in the same direction -> out of Stony Brook.
Thanksgiving break has begun.

plummeted

2005-11-17T23:07:00.000-05:00

This entire year has seen bizarre weather all around. I can’t complain. The weather here has been warmer than usual for a whole lot longer than normal. Yesterday was an indoor short-sleeve, no layer below the pants, ankle socks day. I still have not worn my gloves, hat, or winter coat since the season started.

Overnight, the temperature dropped a whopping 30 degrees. It looks like 9pm outside when the time indicates it’s only 5, and I have to wake up earlier and leave work earlier to get things done. My body hasn’t adjusted yet, but it’ll get there.

family ties

2005-11-10T19:59:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows me, knows my laugh. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I inherited it from both sides of my family. I have never met another set of people who can give and take such great jokes. We love to laugh, and we do it the only way a laugh should be done: from the belly up.

When I came to Stony Brook, there was only one other person in the class that laughed like I did. We constantly heard each other's voices laugh out loud at every good joke, and then quietly fade away when we noticed it was just us. That was how I met Alex, we've been friends ever since.

Tonight, Aunty Joy (my dad's sister) and my dad called me from Jamaica - almost every sentense was punctuated with laughter. In addition, Alex called from Louisianna - another releasing conversation, keeping the sm:)es going.

stranded

2005-11-10T19:03:00.000-05:00

Tonight feels like a night at home in Jamaica. I cannot count the number of times I had somewhere to go and no way of getting there. At least in JA, the bus was always running if I was desperate enough. Here, that is not the case.

So here I sit, ready to leave way before the time, dressed up to be in church where I usually am on a Thursday evening, and no ride. They called to say they were no longer going, and my back-up is nowhere to be found.

At least I have bassChocolate’s blog to meditate on. I must have waited to read his last post for a reason.

----

Ok, I guess there was another reason. My roommate left her key at home (for the first time ever) and I was the only one home to open the door for her. She was never so happy to see that I didn't go to church tonight.

diamonds in the rough

2005-11-05T18:00:00.000-05:00

With so many teenagers and young adults wasting away their health on alcohol and smoking, employing a deteriorated vocabulary of four letters words, trying too hard to fit into a crowd too large for them to stand out, it’s touching and humbling to see young boys and girls actually spending their days and nights tending to others less fortunate, less ‘normal’, less healthy than themselves.

They look like the average teen American to the naked eye, but that they are far from. They work in a home for mentally disabled teens who are too much for their parents to handle on their own. Every three people are assigned to one counsellor: a teenager/young adult with the patience and compassion of God alone. Truthfully, I don’t know if I could manage that type of duty everyday, and I have the utmost respect for those who are willing to do just that.

mouth-watering

2005-11-03T21:20:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how good little things can be.

Tonight's dinner was the type that, had I been in Jamaica, I would be thoroughly disappointed to have. However, having not eaten this particular thing in a looong while, it was an absolute treat!

Mince with Excelsior Water Crackers.

ahhhhhh :o)

resource monopoly

2005-10-31T15:53:00.000-05:00

We had pets when we were young. I loved them then. The dog stayed outside, where he belonged. The cat, free to roam inside or out.

I am of the firm opinion that fish do not belong in glass bowls for my aesthetic pleasure any more than birds belong in cages. I will never willingly own an in-house dog, frogs in a tank, or a hamster in a cage. Rearing farm animals for food is one thing. Having them confined simply for my viewing pleasure is another.

Though many have stated their love for New York City, it is a place I can never live. An entire City of concrete where it is illegal for your dog to poo on the road side without you manually removing said poo and dumping it into a trash can or toilet; a place where, in order to see a plant, I have to buy it and grow it in my house – hello? no way!

Give me the hills with nothing for miles but bush, where animals and plants don’t have to live like humans to survive.

That’s why, though I complain of the boredom of Long Island, I am in fact quite happy that I am here instead of the lively City two hours away. Here, surrounded by the other elements of nature sharing the space, is how I prefer to live.

fall back

2005-10-30T01:19:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again. Time to turn our clocks back, gain the hour we lost in the spring, and fall back in step with Jamaican time.

It's good to be back.

haunted halloween

2005-10-30T01:11:00.000-05:00

After deciding I wasn’t in the mood to even roll an eye at Halloween, I was invited to go see a haunted house in Wading River, some miles away from Stony Brook. I consented, figuring it would be interesting, though I doubted I would be scared in the least bit.

I was indeed impressed with the level of detail put into this particular project. The maze leading up to the house was very well done and the house itself was amazing. None of the gruesome displays affected me at all, but the element of surprise sure had me screaming and jumping out of my skin a couple times well.

The group of nine that went to the haunted house decided to congregate at Lourdes’s house to top the night off with games. As usual, this was roaring fun. We played the 'new and improved' Cranium Turbo Edition - a must-have for the avid gamer, and an oldy but goody – Guestures. Too much fun to say the least.

So much for a quiet Halloween.

spaces

2005-10-27T18:50:00.000-04:00

I miss Alex.

colours a falling

2005-10-23T15:55:00.000-04:00

Though I often complain about the bitter cold weather in these parts, and there is often good reason (I still firmly believe I was not meant to live with my digits freezing off!), I cannot help but bask in the beauty of autumn.

It's a season I never experienced in its full glory until moving to New York, and it is absolutely breathtaking. The palette of colours displayed by the trees is amazing, unreproducible by even the greatest of artists. No pictures I could display could begin to capture the full magnificence of being surrounded by it.

God is Good!

deeper

2005-10-22T16:10:00.000-04:00

Another component has been added to the research for my thesis.

I'm excited about it because it's an interesting aspect that has previously been understudied and it ties the rest of my research together in a unique way.

It however means that I have additional work on my plate, and confirms that I will not be complete until next semester.

misty

2005-10-21T18:36:00.000-04:00

my hands instinctively find their refuge in the front folds of my favourite jacket. my neck sinks as far into my shoulders as is possible. my eyes tingle and my pace quickens as I walk through the visible fog of my own breath.

restoration

2005-10-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

For two heavily packed days I was cut off from all things temperate and thrown head first into the deep tropical waters containing the complex field of restoration of coral reef ecosystems.

The conference was held at the University of Miami’s James L. Knight International Center in downtown Miami and included professionals from an array of countries and fields all related to the topic. Most knew each other well, having collaborated on many research projects across the globe.

One well prepared dimly-lit room, over a dozen presenters, close to one hundred participants engaged in lively discussion, everyone from the lowly graduate student to the veteran and expert in the field leaving with something to think about. The experience was exciting, energizing, and rejuvenating.

The trip not only served to restore enthusiasm for coastal zone management, but also connections with friends and family, all of which became somehow associated with food:

belated birthday celebration at Cheesecake Factory, Sawgrass with Le (visiting from Jamaica), her mom, and CJ (absent from pic);

reunion dinner at P.F. Changs, Aventura with Anastasia and Simone (right), friends from primary school who I haven’t seen in at least five years, joined later by CJ (left);

dinner at Thai Gourmet, Homestead with Uncle Dennis (mom’s brother) and family.

Now I am fully restored, back in NY, and freezing.

in transit

2005-10-14T22:57:00.000-04:00

Tonight is a long night of patience.

october's dozen

2005-10-12T23:59:00.000-04:00

At the stroke of midnight, the phone rang, and the room door burst open almost simultaneously. My sister’s traditional first-for-the-day birthday wish was accompanied by two singing housemates bearing a lit candle in a tiny raspberry pie.

The day poured rain non-stop, though the weather was negligible given that I was stuck in the lab for most of the workday. With plans to have dinner at my favourite Thai restaurant with friends, I carried a light snack for lunch, during which time I was invited to share in a geology presentation and discussion. For the second year in a row while being in NY, and the forth successful time overall, I was surprised to find a full gathering of people expectantly awaiting my arrival. Strawberry cheesecake and chocolate cupcakes in hand, their tops ablaze with candles; purple balloons flying all around; the colours of the Jamaican flag streaming from all corners of the ceiling; a single card filled with signatures and sentiments from fellow members of the Marine Sciences Research Center.

The group of seven (including housemates) met at six and headed out to dinner, battling the rain. We arrived an hour later than our reservation, but our table waited patiently in the midst of a surprisingly packed restaurant. Dinner was slow, enjoyable, relaxing, sumptuous, full of chatter and laughter… perfect. Unwilling to part at the end of it all, the night was extended by a loud and fun-filled game of taboo at my house.

Text messages, msn display names, emails, e-cards, phone calls, gifts, wishes... all day strong, all day long. They were most appreciated and helped to make the day a most memorable one.

Thanks guys!!

insatiable

2005-10-08T18:14:00.000-04:00

I was alone.

They moved in.

I was grateful for the company. The silence was replaced with laughter and talking. Living, breathing human beings with which to interact day and night.

The empty spaces in the bedrooms, closets, fridge, cupboards, and shelves now had life... life abundant... life overflowing.

The free spaces became smaller and smaller until there was nothing left. That which was once designated for one became fair game if left unmanned for only a second. Every inch seems a prize to be won, like wild plants competing for sunlight.

I am left in a box. I crouch. No room to stand. None to move free without hitting, moving, stuffing, pushing, replacing, apologizing, explaining... I feel claustrophobic!! I need to breathe!! I need to SCREAM!!! I need to be left ALONE!!

peaceful parallels

2005-10-07T23:08:00.000-04:00

The best nights here are ones like tonight: the sound and smell of rain beating on the ground, cool air flowing through the house, the comfort of a warm bed, and company of captivating words...

It's amazing how no matter where you are, some things are always the same.

temperamental

2005-10-03T15:11:00.000-04:00

The best month of the year is here again, and with it, the arrival of the weather fluctuations I loathe about New York. Already I am starting to layer, and have to be constantly checking the entire day's forcast lest I be caught in a 2-hour-freeze one layer short, because it was blazing sun when I left my yard just minutes before.

The locals seem to find my spontaneous shivers and cries to God hilarious, and purposely seek to be near me on such occassions. For once, I do not share their joy. I am however most grateful for the days I can still feel the sun against my skin. That pleasure is fast moving toward extinction.

girl talk

2005-09-30T11:33:00.000-04:00

Though my other advisor (yes, I have the fortunate/unfortunate situation of 2 advisors) is still in hiding (we found out he went on vacation before I could get to have that meeting I was stressing over), I had a time of sharing, confirming, and brainstorming with the female (and better half) of my advising team.

I am not yet free of the chains of the experimental lab work, but am more focussed in my endeavours, and am happy to see that she, like myself, is anxious to get me closer to that brilliant bit of light shining ever so brightly at the end of my tunnel.

sanctuary

2005-09-29T13:45:00.000-04:00

There are times when the presence of the people here does nothing for me; when invitations to things that usually excite me no longer draw interest; when I am most comfortable inside my shell, apparently alone, in reality, in the company of friends, millions of miles away.

published debris

2005-09-21T17:52:00.000-04:00

'Ascendency gauges how much of the potential indeterminacy is vanquished by the constraints that impart visible structure and form to the network.'
Estuarine, Coastal and Shelf Science (1995) 41, 137-162

Forget applied marine ecology, I'll settle for some plain English language please! Clearly their heads were too far into the sediment of that estuary to write a comprehensible sentence.

The above is one of the many reasons I complain, moan, and ache when I have to dissect a scientific paper. Their hard work and production of good data is tantamount to a pile of cow's dung if they cannot express their point clearly. Yet, there it is, published in a paper for everyone to throw aside with disgust after painfully attempting to understand even one eighth of what has been written.

With the task of reading many of these a week, it's a wonder I still have my sanity [no comments LeAnne!], a gift that some professors here seem to have completely lost.

stress of the week

2005-09-20T23:07:00.000-04:00

and the winner goes to...

'the progress report due orally to the livid advisor that resigned his position as Grad Programs Director this afternoon, and is sure to be in a foul mood for the rest of the week'

---*---*---

I seem to have developed an obsession with food when I'm stressed. Dinner does not fill me, nor does the endless snacking before, after, and in between. With already limited resources, the available food quickly dwindles to the sweet and unhealthy. The spontaneous craving in the middle of the night for anything I do not possess (tonight: an ice-cream sandwich) leaves me rummaging through the fridge every five minutes, finally emerging with some other sweet thing that has me back in the kitchen five minutes later.

what island we come from?? west indies!!!

2005-09-15T14:11:00.000-04:00

When your workdays include more than 12 full hours around equipment (taking measurements every second for 15 minutes at a time) inside a secluded area of the lab, something more than chocolate is needed to maintain concentration.

Feet on the move, hair flinging in every direction, hand in the air waving my imaginary flag, only to turn and meet the stare and uncontrollable smile of the maintenance man who came in to wax the floor after 9:30pm last night. I casually smiled back and continued.

Soca music! – We praise the Lord!!

interim

2005-09-09T16:37:00.000-04:00

clock ticking, tummy rumbling, head spinning, breeze blowing, AC pumping, cells cooking, battery dying, body impatiently waiting to go home.

window of encouragement

2005-09-09T09:46:00.000-04:00

My desk located by a wall of glass serves many purposes including distraction, good and bad. Today's distraction led to a decision:

let my stomach never compete with my breats unless it be housing life.

mad. sick. head no good

2005-09-08T21:31:00.000-04:00

I walked from the lab holding the sealed container of pipette tips. I placed them in the autoclave, set the timer for 20 minutes, turned the setting to 'fast & dry', and turned the knob to 'sterile' indicating the beginning of the process. I signed the logbook:

9/8, 3:15pm, Raisha, Collier lab.

I then walked away.

At 9:15, exactly 6 hours later, I remembered them.

This is an improvement. My last end-of-the-work-day sterilization job lasted until the following morning and resulted in a flooded room and two panicked lab technicians.

thankfully

2005-09-08T03:39:00.000-04:00

BassChocolate has pointed out the wonderful nature of Blogger to adapt to change. Consequently I have reinstated the ability to comment anonymously, however, with an unfortunate side-effect. I hope it works.

regretfully

2005-09-07T17:42:00.000-04:00

the influx of people who have the nerve to think they can use my blog as an advertisement for whatever foolishness they are trying to advertise has caused me to remove the option of anonymous comments. My deepest apologies to R1D1, ThinkBass, and anyone else who has something of substance to share.

a never-ending cycle of the good suffering because of the bad.

connection

2005-09-07T16:45:00.000-04:00

I left home later than usual, walking leisurely without the weight of my laptop. My makeshift dreads caressed my neck with each step. The common sound of a distant horn on my right as I crossed the street did not grab my attention, but the music of Beres blasting from a silver car did.

Our eyes met and locked and had I been fully aware, I would have been worried that he was no longer focussed on the road ahead. His light brown skin glowed in the sun peering through the hole in his roof. His long, neat dreads rested on his back as he turned to maintain our gaze. The already slow morning seemed to screech to a halt for three seconds. Our eyes parted with the approach of a corner and my immoveable expression cracked into a smile. Maybe there is life on Long Island after all.